If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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