There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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