I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
