i permit you to call me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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