I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
