Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
