he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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