dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
