So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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