Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
porn star boner night. come get it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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