D3 body, D1 cock
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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