Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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