Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
