i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
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She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
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I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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