Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
