Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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