its not stalking. its research.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
