I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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