No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
