Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
