Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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