That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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