I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
What a dumb baby whore.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
