Whod you bang
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
