i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
