Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My hand turned me down
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
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i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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