did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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