I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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