I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
