babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
