do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
