there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
