guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize