i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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