hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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