i already hear my dad disowning me
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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