Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
