Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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