Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
