so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
