They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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