Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's blow job season.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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