did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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