??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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