you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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