i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is it penis luge time yet?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
