how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Drunk is a universal language darling
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
