he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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