Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize