I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
