Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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