we have officially lost it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
ok first of all what the fuck
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
