You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
