if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
