worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
