We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
