I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
