She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
